I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
