I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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