I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize
