In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
