It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Ketchup is God's man juice
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Pooping to opera.
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