he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
