She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
