OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
