i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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