I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize