It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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