its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Randomize
