Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
