so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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