she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
