can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
