who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
