at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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