I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
