You're earring is so big in my mouth
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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