Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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