It was confusing and full of hummus
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
