hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
