so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize