just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Randomize
