I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
