there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
