I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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