It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
