Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
