I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
