idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
