why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She even gives head with a lisp.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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