I cockslap morals
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
