He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
porn star boner night. come get it.
i drank out of a bidet.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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