Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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