The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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