Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My vagina is officially offended.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
