return my video game
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
