jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
