I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize