i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize