Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize