haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
