that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
