Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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