Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You should frame my arrest warrant.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
