Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
