it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Randomize
