please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
