is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
