brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
