Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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