Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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