Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
