It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
