Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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